Room 309

So I am going to try this one a day thing. One story a day, even if its crap, for as long as I can keep it up.


First story is called “Room 309”


The doctor was heading towards the patients room as he read over the nurses preliminary report.

“Hmm…stuck…” he said aloud.


The nurse was behind him filling him in on the little details. “This is quite an unusual case doctor.” she said hesitantly.


“Maybe a little.” he said as he smiled.


Excited she said, “I am new here so I am still getting used to it. It’s just…this is two for the price of one!”

He knew what he would need but of course there are protocols. Being the professional he is he walked into the room with his usual confidence and cheerful demeanor.


“So how are we feeling today?” he asked. He already knew the answer but sometimes things get lost in translation…literally between the patient and the nurses report. Especially since this particular nurse was new. Plus it was also comforting to the patients being friendly and personable. As the doctor washed his hands and started putting on his gloves he listened to what the patient said he and also visually inspecting the other patient in this situation. Staring through the translucent veil he could see a cherub with a very angry expression on his face (or her, cherubs aren’t easy to distinguish between genders given they’re all child like with diapers).


Confused the doctor said, “We don’t get many of you guys in here, I hope it isn’t an epidemic.”


Instantly the gurgling sounds grew louder and much more intense. The noises from all the machinery in the room began to increase in volume. The nurse began to lose her composure, “Doctor! What are we going to do?!”


“How did I know?” he thought to himself. He could have answered her question immediately and that probably would have calmed her down but instead he decided to make her sweat a little, see how much she had learned in school.


“What do we do?” he asked the panicking nurse.


She stood silent for a minute, trying to collect herself. He could tell she had the answer but being new tends to make people unsure of themselves so he waited patiently. After another minute her eyes blinked open wide.


“The Master?” she asked. It sounded as though she was fighting the urge to yell the answer.


“That is exactly it.” he said smiling. The doctor moved over to the trash and removed his gloves and picked up the telephone in the room and dialed 0 (zero). After thirty seconds the doctor hung up the phone and picked up a pen and started writing on his clipboard. The lady that called over the hospital intercom spat out something that could not be made out over the sounds of the machines.


He told the nurse to stand off to the side of the room that way she could regain control of herself and so she wouldn’t be in the way when everything went down.


They are far and few between, The Masters I mean. There was once a time when more people aspired to be such things but ever since the fall of The Old Ones it is now looked down upon. It does take a special kind of person to become a Master, not everyone can achieve the status.


After about twenty minutes of waiting the nurse looked over as the door opened. A short man walked in with unique scrubs on, thick glasses, extremely messy long hair, a neck beard, knee high tube socks and sneakers on carrying a messenger bag around his shoulder.


When he walked in, the doctor approached him with his hand extended for a handshake. The man almost seemed uncomfortable at the idea of shaking his hand. All he did was just push up his glasses as he said, “Hello” and walked over to the table. As he looked the patients up and down he snorted with laughter but cut it short as soon as he realized it was out loud.


With a slight lisp the man said, “Let us get started.” He reached into his messenger bag and pulled out three books. He looked at the binding of each one until he got to the third one and put the other two back into the bag. It was a large old looking leather bound book with a giant “1” printed on the front.


“This guy here is one of the older ones so I have to go back to one of the earlier editions” the man said. As he opened the ancient tome his eyes gave away a slight glimmer of excitement. “So I need to slow first THEN I can….” he said as he trailed off.


After what seemed like an eternity of reading he said, “Let me prepare here. I didn’t think I was going to be needing ice today.” He pulled out a small leather purse from his messenger bag. He poured the contents onto the table next to the hospital bed. He pulled a small stone with ten sides on it and numbers painted on the sides. With the stone in his hand he raised it, shook it around for a minute as if to enchant it and released it on the table. But as the stone tossed and turned the patient started to quiver and the machines went crazy all over again.


“Damnit!” he exclaimed. “Looks like im going to have to skip proper procedure.”


After watching with worry the nurse belted out, “Wait! You can’t just skip it!”

“It’s ok” he said reassuringly. “I am The Dungeon Master”


About FecalBrain 37 Articles
I don't mean to impose but I am the ocean.


  1. LOL! This seemed long and drawn out before the punchline. I feel bad for the poor chap who is in the hospital bed. I don’t get the “all child like with diapers” bit. But to do one a day, this is good. KEEP IT UP!

  2. “…he could see a cherub with a very angry expression on his face (or her, cherubs aren’t easy to distinguish between genders given they’re all child like with diapers).” Definition of Cherub:

    cher·ub noun \ˈcher-əb, ˈche-rəb\
    plural usually cher·u·bim

    Definition of CHERUB

    plural : an order of angels — see celestial hierarchy
    plural usually cherubs
    a : a beautiful usually winged child in painting and sculpture
    b : an innocent-looking usually chubby and rosy person
    — che·ru·bic adjective
    — che·ru·bi·cal·ly adverb
    — cher·ub·like adjective

  3. Youre right, it was long and drawn out. I wanted a story and it came out more like a really drawn out joke that isn’t funny haha. But hey that is why i am doing this though so i can get better haha. Thanks for the crit. 🙂

Leave a Reply